We all have terribly embarrassing moments we wish we could live down. In a last-ditch effort to be rid of ours once and for all, we're purging all of the iconic and cringeworthy moments our staff members & family have to offer.
Humiliating Moments on Wheels
One of the cringiest childhood moments I can't scrub from my memory harkens back all the way to the theme park Dollywood, circa 2004. I was so sure that the tall poles that touched the ceiling sent an electric current through the bumper cars, rendering the gas pedal obsolete.
Needless to say, I was brutally bumped (and stuck) in the only corner of the arena where one of my older sisters had set up shop to film the whole thing with a camcorder. As you can imagine, my family still won't let me live it down.
Terrible times on wheels must run in my family, too. One of my older sisters, in pole position at a go-kart track with a church group, misheard the attendant telling them NOT to go and slammed the gas... with the attendant still in the way. She plowed through him in full view of the teens and their parents, and was banned from racing karts for the rest of the trip.
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Editorial Director Carrie's lead foot led to a story that we can all sympathize with. "I failed my driving test by going through a stop sign. Parallel parking? No problem. Stop sign? Hahaha, no."
Content Director Karen's first go-around with a go-kart could have gone better. "The first time I ever drove a go-kart, I had no idea how to operate the gas and the brake. I did great at zipping around the track, but by the time it was time to park, I was in trouble. Instead of gliding to a smooth stop, I rear-ended my sister's go-kart, something my family still teases me about."
Unwanted Surprise
When it comes to life, there's always something just around the corner. Kate, our Content & Communications Specialist, got a heaping pile of life's surprises as a young teen.
"My sister and I used to work up synchronized dance routines when I was in middle school, and this one afternoon, we were in the family room, blaring Madonna and working on our moves. We heard the door slam and thought it was just our dad getting home, but then we turned around and saw our dad had brought the cute neighbor boy, Jared, inside with him to talk to him about lawn care or something. Jared was just standing there silently watching us. I wanted to disappear."
Related: My Childhood Was a Life: 20 Things We Believed as Kids That Turned Out to Be Totally Untrue
The Fall You'll Never Forget
Where Karen has the steadiest hands a seasoned writer could crave, sometimes her feet have a mind of their own. While falling down a few church stairs during a service, trying to pass off a few flowers to her parents, and falling off the stage during a talent show seem monumentally embarrassing, a fall in her early 20s takes the cake.
She recalled, "When I was in my early 20s, I forgot to do my laundry, and I didn't have any clean undies. So I put on a super long skirt, figuring there'd be little chance of a wardrobe malfunction. My friend came to pick me up to go somewhere. It had been raining. Oh, and our neighbors had construction going on their house. These three things — long skirt/no undies, construction workers, and rain all converged with my complete lack of grace in one of the most horrifying moments of my life. I walked out on the porch, my feet went out from under me, and I landed on my back on the porch (right in front of the construction crew) with my skirt flipped up over my head."
The easiest way to avoid this faux pas? Crack the code on cleaning with these hacks, whether you have a spicy brain or just can't juggle it all.
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Many of the memorable moments from my adolescence bounce back and forth from honest mistake to honest mistake. One of the most epic? The time I accidentally left a book on witchcraft in the photocopier (oh yes, that once beloved gadget) at my childhood church.
School project on the Salem Witch Trials or not, the youth minister at the time never quite looked at me the same way again.
Halloween Horror
If you think tripping while running away from a haunted house is bad, just wait until you get a load of Carrie's Halloween horror story.
"When I worked as a manager at a gift shop in the mall (many years ago), I convinced my staff to dress up for Halloween. Figured a witch costume would be funny for the manager, so I planned out this costume complete with hair and accessories and stuff — but also, I had to open the store at 6 am, so I was in a rush in the morning to get it all together.
Get to work, get a few hours into my day, and realized that in my rush, I'd forgotten to put my bra on. Male customers had been very friendly to me that day, and I thought it was just because the costume was good."
If only Carrie had checked her horoscope to see which Halloween costume was perfect for her.
America's Least Favorite Pastime
Like the phenoms that came before her, Karen's life is full of unforgettable moments. Upon one recollection, she remembered, "I once whacked the cute neighbor boy in the eye with a baseball bat. Somebody tossed the baseball up in the air, and I was holding the bat. I thought I'd impress him by hitting the ball as it fell. Instead, I clocked him in the eye."
She'd have been better off collecting baseball cards to trade with him than stepping up to the plate.
It Can Always Be Worse
When you wake up drooling in class or accidentally trip in front of your crush, let our major embarrassing moments bolster your confidence and bring you solace. Just remember, it could always be worse!
